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Our Language!
There's no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through the annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was dis-combobulated, grunted, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it!
-unknown-
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A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." He continued... "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden." "So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. So, my friends, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while."
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You Are Cranberry Juice
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You're sassy and even a bit snarky at times. You have an edge to you.
And while you can be brutally honest, you're still quite a charmer.
You are confident, modern, stylish, and dazzling. You have an overpowering personality.
You're a bit of an acquired taste. People often wish you were sweeter.
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You Should Fly on a Trapeze
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Some people may call you a daredevil. Others would call you an adrenaline junkie.
But for you, it's not about the risk - it's all about the reward.
You crave freedom. And flying on a trapeze is the closest you'll get to that freedom.
The rush of doing something humans weren't born to do is amazing. And you're willing to put your life in danger to experience it.
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 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In November I gave  ronin_lethe a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). Last Tuesday I pulled brightlotusmoon's hair (-5 points). Last week I bought porn for ceolyn (10 points). In September I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last month I put money in thescaryfaery's expired parking meter (14 points).
Overall, I've been nice (33 points). For Christmas I deserve a pony!
Sincerely,
thedalikiss |
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Crazy Crazy Crazy for feeling so lonely Im crazy Crazy for feeling so blue I knew Youd love me as long as you wanted And then someday You'd leave me for somewhere new Worry Why do I let myself worry Wondrin What in the world did I do Crazy For thinking that my love could hold you Im crazy for tryin Crazy for cryin And Im crazy For lovin you -Pasty Cline my momentary disposition:  tired
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Your result for The Alignment Test... Neutral-Good62% Good, 52% Chaotic 
Plane of Existence: Elysium, " Blessed Fields," "The Happy Hunting Grounds". Description: The plane of peace. Notable Inhabitants: Guardinals - noble immortal humanoids with bestial features.  Examples of Neutral-Goods (Ethically Neutral, Morally Good) Cloud Strife (FFVII) Boogenhagen (FFVII) Mother Theresa Ghandi Sidhartha Gautama (the Buddha) Gandalf Bilbo & Frodo Baggins Samwise Gamgee Indiana Jones The Dali Lama Ben (O-Bi-Wan) Kenobi Luke Skywalker Harry Potter Hermionie Dumbledore Often goes along with the laws and desires of the group as being the easiest course of action, but ethical considerations clearly have top priority. May pursue quite abstract goals. Often aloof and difficult to understand. Will keep their word to others of good alignment Would not attack an unarmed foe Will not use poison Will help those in need May work with others Indifferent to higher authority Indifferent to organizations Neutral Good "Pure Good"
"Benefactor"A neutral good [person] will obey the law, or break it when he or she sees it will serve a greater good. He or she is not bound strongly to a social system or order. His or her need to help others and reduce their suffering may take precedence over all else. Neutral good [people] do good for goodness' sake, not because they are directed to by law or by whim. This alignment desires good without bias for or against order. Other Alignments and Tendencies (Tendenices are what you would more often sway towards; esp. for Neutrals):0-39% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Evil0-39% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: Neutral-Evil0-39% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Evil40-60% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Neutral40-60% Good, 40-60% Chaotic: True Neutral40-60% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Neutral61-100% Good, 0-39% Chaotic: Lawful-Good61-100% Good, 61-100% Chaotic: Chaotic-Good</i> Take The Alignment Test at HelloQuizzy
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Ask me a question about EACH or ANY of the following: - Friends - Sex - Music - Religion - Love - Livejournal No matter how naughty, sexual, or confidential. Then post this in your journal and see what questions you get asked! (comments are screened) my momentary disposition:  curious
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that way